Why men are WORSE drivers than women?

At the risk of offending every male in Britain and inflicting pain upon their sensitive souls, it’s time to put the record straight. Men simply can’t drive as well as women. It’s a fact. Why else are car insurance premiums much higher for men, why do men have more accidents and why have more men been arrested for road rage than female drivers? I’ve already told you. Because they can’t drive.

 

Now before you reach frantically for the keyboard and start banging out your indignation into the comments field, let me explain to you why I’ve come to this obvious – albeit shocking – conclusion…

Men have bigger hands than women.

This makes them clumsy. Female drivers and their delicate, dainty fingers can caress the gear stick gently yet firmly, slotting the car straight into gear; they can push one button at a time instead of two, thereby demisting the widescreen in one smooth action, rather than accidently turning on the stereo and the hazard lights at the same time, then getting annoyed and distracted at the confusion that ensues.

Men find it impossible to multi-task.

This is a fact that many men would admit to themselves, so surely it follows that driving a car, which involves a lot of hand, eye and foot coordination, doesn’t come naturally to them.

Men are too competitive.

When male drivers spot the traffic lights up ahead changing to orange, they can’t help but view it as a personal challenge to get past the line before it switches to red. It’s like that orange light is grinning menacingly, daring them to try and beat it and when the adrenaline starts pumping there’s absolutely nothing that can get in their way of victory.

Men are big show offs.

No space is too small if you’re a man. Nope, not even that space in the supermarket car park recently vacated by a moped.  And even when they’ve scraped and scratched their way into it then puffed up their chests with pride, it’s still the other cars’ fault for parking too close when they find they can’t get out.

Men are easily distracted.

It doesn’t take much to distract male drivers. The sight of a female walking up the pavement in front of them is enough to make them forget that they’re even in a car.

Men are stubborn.

This stubbornness manifests itself in many ways on the road. Not letting other drivers join a queue; blocking roads so that no one else can sneak past them and refusing to ask for directions, leaving them and their long suffering wives circling roundabouts until they figure out their next move. Not wanting to admit they’re tired before they fall asleep at the wheel is another example of stubbornness and is in fact, one of the main contributors to rising insurance premiums!

Impatience is a virtue.

Another fact; female drivers are much more patient than men. Women don’t mind being stuck in traffic so much as it gives them time to plan their weekly shop or their outfit for the weekend. Men on the other hand react like a boiling kettle as soon as the driver in front slows down, spluttering and hissing as their blood vessels reach breaking point.

To be honest, there probably isn’t even enough room on this browser to list all of the bad driving habits that men have compared to female drivers. And more important than annoying everyone else on the road, men are also getting people’s backs up because they are pushing up the price of car insurance for the rest of us. So men, if you’re reading this please heed this public service announcement: Learn To Drive!